Emotion!

My family; We are not great with emotions. In fact we don’t have much of it. We don’t kiss, we don’t hug and we don’t express our feelings in any way. I’m alright with that but every once in while something happens that makes me wonder: “What the hell is wrong with us!”

It all started about a week ago. I was sleep in my room. my mom knocked and opened the door that woke me up. “Are you up?” she said .
“yes.”
“Your dad’s calling you.”
You have to realize that this almost never happens. Usually if my dad wants to say anything to me he waits till he sees me around the house . So I got up and went to his room. As I walked in I saw him sitting behind his computer and he didn’t turn around .

“Mom said you asked for me?” I said wondering what’s going on.
“Close the door” He said still not turning his head . “I’m having a stroke.” he whispered.
The words for stroke and heart-attack in my native language are the same and since he has a history of heart problems I assumed he means he’s having a heart attack.
“I’ll call an ambulance and be right back.” I said, to which he replied : “No!”
You can imagine how confused I was until he clarified that he is having a stroke.

I was about to panic and had no idea what to do. And I was very confused . He didn’t have any visible symptoms of a stroke. He was communicating . Why shouldn’t i call an ambulance? I was wondering about these things and i just asked :”What should I do?”
“I Can’t get up, my left side is paralyzed.” he said and made a gesture showing that he wants to get up. So I helped him out of his chair and into the bed. A three-step distance that took two minutes for him to walk with my help. As he laid down I explained to him that he doesn’t have the signature signs of a stroke and asked him to explain to me what happened and why shouldn’t I call a doctor? So he said that this happened an hour before i walked in the room and at first he couldn’t move at all then his right side gained movement and he didn’t want to worry my mom . As we talked he got better and he could move . I insisted on going to a doctor and he said not till the morning so i gave up and just kept an eye on him till he went to sleep and made up some story to tell my mom and told her that he has to go to a doctor. In The Next couple of days he showed some more symptoms and did some tests. today the test results came and since i’m the only one in the family who can read English and knows a thing or tow about medical stuff i read the results and as it turns out he has bladder cancer.

Today he came into my room and said have you read my results and showed them to me. I slowly told him that he has cancer but its benign but it still needs to be treated immediately or it could get worse. He didn’t let me to take him to a hospital . So I gave up and told him just tell me when you wanna go.

I see in the movies and other families that a news like this can tear people apart and yet neither me nor my dad didn’t flinch when we got the news. Hell; when I thought he was having a stroke I didn’t even call a doctor cause a man who’s brain I thought is shutting down asked me not to. There is something fundamentally wrong with that.

P.S: I Eventually told my mother about the first problem a few hours later but i still haven’t told anyone about the cancer and i really don’t know what i should do.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s