OK! I admit I don’t really have anything to say today. But I deeply feel the need to write. This is how I cope with my problems. This is how I unburden myself from the weight of my insecurities .
I write about myself a lot. Usually because sometimes I just need to analyse myself, my thoughts and my behaviors in order to better understand myself. Another reason for that is because i’m a very lonely person. I don’t mean that in a “oh! poor me I’m so lonely” way. I like it this way. I say this because sometimes I feel the need to be known. I mean nobody around me knows what’s going on in my head and sometimes that bothers me, so I write about the things that I can’t share with people who are in my life. I know this seems very sad but I don’t see it that way.
I usually don’t care if people around me know what’s going on with me. In fact most of the time I’d prefer it this way. But there is something that I wish I could share with people.
I’m bisexual. A closeted bisexual. I don’t really have an active sex life. I’m not good at relationships. And I have been single for the past year. But this is a fundamental truth about me and absolutely no one knows about it. Well, except for a couple of my friends whom I Don’t see very often.
Where I live being anything other than straight is considered is very unforgivable sin and even in the circle of my friends who are mostly forward thinking intellectuals it’s hard for them to admit such a thing is natural. I’m very well respected among my friends and I’m absolutely sure that I’d lose that respect if I came out.
Things are gonna change. I’m not done trying for a better future.