Failure

A few years ago I was in a very bad place. Depressed and broken. paralyzed by fear and phobia to the point where I was unable to sleep or wake or eat.

It was two years ago when I gathered all my strength and decided to live and to try. I started with eating and resting. Then a workout routine . And then I went back to the world . Found a job and rented a place for myself. I worked hard. Changed jobs to improve myself. Learnt a few skills and I was about to succeed. Six months ago I moved back in with my parents because they live in a better city that I could Find better jobs in and lower my expenses and save some money.

It didn’t go well. In these past six month I’ve done everything in my power to keep myself hopeful and strong so I wouldn’t become that pathetic creature that I was before. I lost.

I failed. In the past I would have said that I’m done for and I won’t get another chance ever again but now I know far too well that anything in life is possible. The only thing I know now is what I feel. And I feel like it’s gonna get worse. Worse that it was before.

To be honest I don’t know if I want it to pass. I hope my mind breaks so I don’t have to suffer anymore.

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