Around 12 years ago, when I was 13 or 14 I started asking questions
It all started with a book. Sophi’s world. In the first few pages of the book, you are faced with the oldest philosophical dilemmas in human history.
Who are we?
Where did we come from?
Can something come to existence out of nothing?
What is God?
I was raised as a Muslim and was fed some answers to these questions but when I read them there I thought this might be a trick. Could it be that what I thought I knew was wrong? did anyone else have better answers? I was confused.
So I followed up and that led to studying philosophy and a long search for answers.
After 6 or 7 years I realized that there is no end to this search. So I decided to leave the search for truth and start formulating a way of life based on logic. I picked up a few things from each book I had read and did just that.
after all those years of thinking and reading and thinking some more and asking why over and over again about everything I realized the most important thing (I call it a thing cause I don’t know what else to call it) I could acquire is awareness.
To acquire awareness I started thinking about the reasons behind my own actions. Why am I scared? Why am I flirting? why am I sitting? Why am I working? why am I buying this? the more I asked the more real my answers became.
I don’t do this anymore but I did it enough to get where I needed to be. And that is a peaceful mind.
These things were on my mind today. I just needed to write them somewhere. to remind myself that all those little hurdles will pass and I will be fine. To remind myself that as long as I am moving forward in the big picture nothing else matters.
Now for the second part of my post.
I changed my job. I work in a fancy Italian restaurant now. It’s hard and demanding but as long as I’m in the kitchen it doesn’t really matter.
And I have a girlfriend now. We started going out around 3 months ago after she confessed her love for me. It didn’t take long for me to fall for her. We even bought rings as a symbol of our commitment to each other. We’re not engaged or anything but we are already changing our plans for each other. I love her.
Ok. I guess that’s all I have to say for now.
P.s. : The economy of my country is collapsing really bad and so earning has become a pain in the ass. I wish things were better but I have no idea how they could.